I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season. I love watching everything that is going on this time of year and the anticipation in my children as they count down the days until Santa.

Santa sent Morgan and Ian messages the other day via his PNP (Portable North Pole Console) you can watch them here and here they were really fun to create and Morgan was especially excited. (Ian is trying to be the cool pre-teen, and Santa is no longer a cool thing for him, tear tear).

Morgan was Jeff's tail every step of the way while putting up the Christmas tree.





We made Gingerbread cookies the other day and the kids did all the decorating. They turned out cute and yummy.

Happy Halloween

We had another fun Halloween. Jeff was busy getting the garage ready for his mad scientist lab, and had taken off a few days work to do so. I don't get involved in this because it is "his thing", he gets in a zone and I don't want to get in his way, it works out for nice for the both of us.

At the beginning of September I had asked the kids what they wanted to be for Halloween and Ian claimed he didn't want to be anything, so I told him if he wanted to go trick-or-treating he had to dress-up, so I suggested he be a baseball player. Easy enough for the both of us since he played baseball during the spring and fall he had everything he needed. I also suggested that he find a couple of friends to go trick-or-treating with so he didn't have to tag along with Morgan and I. He thought this was a great idea, so he and a friend from school got together and seriously hit the jackpot.

Morgan wanted to be Minnie Mouse, and I said "perfect", because she already had a Minnie costume that she received from her birthday. She was able to dress-up 3 different times. One for her preschool party, another time for a friend get together/Halloween party, and of course trick-or-treating. Our ward had our annual trunk-or-treat, but due to the rain the had to go inside. Morgan and I were seriously gone 30 minutes and then back home for hot chocolate and movies. She was happy with the candy she got and I was happy that we didn't have to go to every single house in the neighborhood to see how much candy we could get. I know that will be the case in a couple years, so I'm taking advantage as long as I can.

I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween!

Our pumpkins from the garden - they were really BIG this year!

Filling up on chili and hot dogs before going out to trick-or-treat

The Mad Scientist with Minnie Mouse

Painful, but I don't want to forget.

As most of you are aware. I was about 16 1/2 weeks pregnant as of last Wednesday. Unfortunately during a routine Dr.'s appt. My Doctor was unable to detect the heart beat. So we went downstairs to the ultrasound room and did the ultrasound. My heart sank when I could not see any tiny flickering of the heartbeat or any fetal movement. My mind rushed back more than 6 years ago when the exact same thing happened in the exact same way. Questions of why? What did I do wrong? Was there anything I could have done to prevent this? How am I going to break the news to everybody I had told? Why did my heart have to be broken AGAIN? I was a wreck. I was alone about 30 minutes from home. I called Jeff and told him the news, and at first I don't think he believed me, until I started sobbing. I cried all the way home from the Dr.s office.

When I got home Jeff was waiting outside for me. We came inside and sat the kids down to tell them the news. Ian started crying and Morgan (only 3 1/2) didn't understand what was happening. All along during my pregnancy she thought that she had a baby growing inside her too, and when we told her that the baby died, she said that her baby died too.

I had to wait until Monday to go to the hospital for my induction. We dropped the kids off to my sisters house around 7, and headed to the hospital. When I went to admitting, they asked me what I was there for. All I told them was that I was scheduled for an induction, when the girl admitting me asked me when my LMP (last menstrual period) was, she asked me again what I was there for with a lot of question in her voice and eyes, and I had to tell her that it was for a 2nd trimester miscarriage.

On the way up to labor and delivery I was feeling mostly numb, I was hoping that I would wake up from this really bad dream and that it would all go away. As I passed the nursery and saw a few newborn babies, my heart broke and I broke down, I couldn't hold my emotions in any longer. The nurses saw me coming and quickly put me in my room and were very compassionate. I was prepped for the induction and the waiting game began at around 8:30. I wasn't feeling contractions or cramping until my 3rd dose of drugs, and then the contractions came on full force by 4 pm. The delivery was fairly quick and we were able to spend some time with the baby before they took him (yes it was a boy) away. When I had this happen before we decided that we didn't want to go through a burial, so we opted to do the same thing this time.

Both the hospitals that we have been to have been very kind and sweet to us and giving us the needed time to be with our baby. They sent us home with memory boxes with a small blankets and enough room for us to put anything else that we want to. I have to admit that they are extremely painful to get out and look at and it gets easier and easier over time. I know it's part of the healing process and I don't want to forget about these 2 tiny boys that I have lost, and I know that someday I will see them and they will be a part of our eternal family. I know that they were too perfect to come to this earth and my Heavenly Father has other plans for them and me as a mother.

I'm so grateful for those that have served me during this time, with dinners, a quick call, a text message and facebook messages, you have warmed my heart and I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful support system.

The one on the left is from April 19, 2004 & the on on the right is from October 11, 2010

I've been busy

A few weekends ago we drove up to Brigham City to buy some fresh delicious peaches. When we got to one of the many fruit stands that there are available I contemplated buying more than 2 baskets full of peaches. Boy, was I glad that Jeff talked me out of buying just 2, because I spent the next week canning all those peaches (and eating a few a long the way). I made about 25 quart jars of peaches and 25 1/2 pint jars of peach preserves. I LOVE the way my food storage looks with all those pretty jars. My next task is to finish the tomatoes that I have sitting on my counter from our garden before they go bad.

O'Canada

Last week I ventured to Canada with my brother and sister. We drove a long 12 hours (didn't I just do that in July) and picked up my brother in Great Falls at the airport, and then went to my parents house in Montana. On Saturday we drove to Cardston, Alberta, Canada so that we could do the temple work for Nana, and other family members. My parents are temple workers at the temple in Cardston. Carston is an LDS community with only 3,000 people and it has 3 stakes. My sister and I spent a lot of the afternoon in the Temple doing work. The next morning we got up super early and left to do the work for family member. It was a very neat experience to do work for my grandmother, my emotions were close to the surface all day.

After the Temple we took the long way home through Glacier National Park. It was such a beautiful drive, but knowing that I was going to be in the car another 12 hours the next day, was a little exhausting. I think we were in the car a total of 35 hours in a 4 day period, ugh. It was so nice to spend time with just my siblings and parents. It's been years since we've been together.

I was so exhausted by the time we got home on Sunday, that yesterday I hardly managed to get myself out of bed, but I'm sure glad that I made the trip and had the experience spending 2 days in the temple.

Mom, Shawna & I at the Border

Dad, Me, Shawna, Scott, Matt & Tyler at the Boarder

Mom, Me, Shawna Scott, Matt & Ty at the Border

Shawna and I eating dinner after spending Friday afternoon in the Temple (the boys went to a high school football game)

Shawna and I waited outside of the Temple to pick-up my parents after their Friday night shift. I got this awesome picture of the Temple at night.

Glacier National Park

A BIG suprise!

We are excited to announce that baby #3 is on the way, and is expected to arrive Mid-March. We are all super excited (Morgan thinks that she has a baby growing inside her tummy too- silly girl). Now, hopefully the nausea, headaches, extreme tiredness will soon subside and I can get to work on all my "things to do" before he or she arrives (Jeff thinks I'm already nesting).

Fishing Pictures

Here are the fishing pictures that I promised from our trip to Montana!

Grandpa and Ian

This was one of the biggest fish I've seen in a long time - Grandpa helped Ian reel it in! It's still in our freezer waiting to be eaten (I won't be eating it, but Jeff and Ian will).

Ian and his cousin Emilie